The Bemidji Song

The Bemidji Song

By Brian Miller

Come all ye bold tourists that travel for leisure

investing your money in sightseeing pleasure

I wish to persuade you a trip for to book

to a quaint destination that’s oft overlooked

Your friend from Chicago has told you that all

Minnesota has got is some lakes and a mall

well she didn’t have much of a tour guide did she

if she failed to mention the town of Bemidji

Twin Citians listen this can be confusing

so follow your roadmap as northward you’re cruising

Bemidji and Brainerd are separate you see

though they’re both north of Fridley and they both start with B

Their lumberjack statue’s a joke cracking giant

while Bemidji’s Paul Bunyan is humble and quiet

This famous wood-chopper a bovine befriended

they lodged in Bemidji it’s well documented

So after Paul Bunyan subs at the Paul Bunyan Subshop

try Paul Bunyan Park for a tidy old giftshop

or Paul Bunyan Drive where in no time at all

you’ll find Paul Bunyan postcards at the Paul Bunyan Mall

And when tired of guys named for disfigured toes

the bars all stay open come rains or come snows

You’ll be happy to find that the beer’s inexpensive

and the locals are nice if you’re not too offensive

If it’s sporting you like well you won’t find it lacking

by boot, skis or snowshoe all sorts of backpacking

on trails through the woods that would set your heart racing

in awe of the scenery it’s so amazing

For many the woodsman has made pleas vociferous

begging to witness the grand trees coniferous

dolloped in snow standing white and angelic

or shading wild berries and natural relics.

Wise fishermen flock to this town by the thousands

all summer in boats and in winter ice houses

in search of the walleye and other great fishes

the thrill of the fight and the outcome delicious

You can come in November and bring your orange jumper

for fantastic hunting from Bambi to Thumper

or wait a few weeks for the gun smoke to clear

for a scenic drive north on a road free of deer

Local youths are all issued ice skates and a stick

and they're sent off to battle in barns made of bricks

Yes ice hockey these days is a boy and girl thing

and if you don’t like violence you can always try curling

With six months of the year between autumn and springtime

for games played on ice there is good practicing time

So the Beavers raise hell in the NCAA

While the curlers compete in the Olympic games

So to all those who travel from Maine to Seattle

there’s more to the Midwest than corncobs and cattle

Big cities are stylish and mountains are steep

but for true relaxation try quiet and cheap

Oh the great Mississippi begins like a lamb

and before she flows south to get barged up and dammed

it’s straight from her source like an anxious young kid she

flows fifteen miles north just to visit Bemidji